Topic: DON’T FALL FOR THE TRAP OF N-T-T-C-C
THEME SCRIPTURE:
John 15:12-13 (NKJV)
This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
MESSAGE:
We stated in our previous devotion, that, marriage will require that you make some sacrifices for the benefit of your spouse. We also said, the best marriage is when you have two people doing everything in their power to make the other person happy. That is, a husband and his wife making each other happy.
This is the thought as expressed in our theme Scripture above. Even though our Lord Jesus Christ instructs believers to love one another, this Scripture is applicable to married couples as well. Husband and wife must love each other. There are those who claim marriage is not built on love, but those who say that, do not know what true love really is. True love is the commitment of one person, to the wellbeing of another. And this should be the mindset and mission of husband and wife towards each other. I can therefore redefine marriage as the mutual commitment of the husband and his wife to the nurturing and sustenance of the love they share together, for their mutual nourishment and fulfilment.
If this is not the mindset for one’s marriage, and if this is not the goal of one towards his/her spouse, chances are that, one would fall for what I call, “The trap of N-T-T-C-C.”
N-T-T-C-C stands for Name, Title, Token, Certificate and Ceremony. Often, when prospective married couples are in their final stages of preparation, undue attention is given to the ceremony of the “D-day”, and some wives to be, easily get carried away and are trapped by the euphoria of getting the name of her husband attached to her name, and to go by the title, “Mrs. So So and So”. I admit that not all wives have this kind of mindset, though. Both husband and wife can be trapped by chasing after very expensive precious minerals like gold or diamond to be used as the token of love, and may neglect nurturing and sustaining the love they share together through constant and continuous communication. Others become overly concerned about the marriage certificate, possibly because they need it for one purpose or the other, and may neglect the much needed investment of prayer and sharing in the Word of God, as a foundation for the marriage life. The ceremony itself can be overly ladened with financial burdens, as a result of the desire to add needless pomp and pageantry, which is not helpful for a fresh and young marriage. The list goes on and on.
I would counsel prospective married couples, that, in as much as the name of a spouse, the title, the token of diamond or gold rings, the certificate and the marriage ceremony itself, are all important ingredients to give the marriage a good taste, what matters most is the mutual commitment of both couple to the wellbeing of each other. If that is the goal and mindset, then prospective married couples would minimize expectations, be modest in their expenditure on the marriage ceremony, and rather take off on a humble note, without incurring any debt whatsoever, by the time the marriage is consummated.
