Topic: BEFORE YOU SAY, “I DO”
THEME SCRIPTURE:
Hebrews 13:4 (KJV)
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
MESSAGE:
The marriage institution is the most complex and intricate human institution, and yet, it is the number one single institution many people enter presumptuously, with little or no knowledge about its purpose. Where purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable. This accounts for the heartbreaks and disappointments in many marriages.
With the insights gained throughout our study on marriage, prospective married couples should not enter into marriage unadvisedly. Marriage is not fun and games; it is serious business. Marriage is responsibility. Marriage will require that you make some sacrifices for the benefit of your spouse. The best marriage is when you have two people doing everything in their power to make the other person happy.
There are some things you must know before you say, “I do.” It’s necessary that you find out all you need to know about a person before you commit yourself to marry him/her. Of course, I admit that you’ll never know a person in toto no matter how long you study him/her, and yet, it would be frivolous on anybody’s part not to know anything at all about a prospective marriage partner.
This is the reason why you must first acquaint yourself with the other person. Acquaintance, if handled well, may lead to friendship. The difference between acquaintance and friendship is the degree of communication. As you progress from acquaintance to friendship, you’d discover that the extent of communication has become deeper, and the duration, longer. If a healthy communication is maintained between the two prospective married couple, they’d build a stronger friendship that will serve as the pivot for the marriage, should the relationship end up in marriage. If the two were not attracted to each other during the stage of acquaintance, the attraction should have evolved by the time the friendship becomes solid. This is because closeness brings attraction. It is at this stage of friendship that both would know whether they’re compatible or not.
It would be of no use to make your intentions known if at the stage of solid friendship the man and the woman are still not attracted to each other. Never marry a person if, after a long period of friendship, you’re still not attracted to each other. Chances are that the relationship is meant to remain at the friendship level. But when the friendship has become solid, and you’re more open to each other; when the attraction between the two has become obvious, and the chemistry keeps building up, one wouldn’t be surprised by the time one, or the other, proposes marriage. This is the best time to propose marriage and make one’s intentions known.
Once a proposal is accepted by the other, the relationship will enter the dating or courtship stage. You’ve got to maintain the solid friendship, coupled with the healthy communication at this stage, because married couples need solid friendship and a healthy communication in their marriage. Married couples who are also best of friends always have a lot to talk about; they never cease communicating.
There’s always the temptation for either one, or both, to want to engage in sex at this stage, but sex before marriage is a distortion of the process. Sex before marriage will break the trust and cause the two to lose the respect they have for each other. And when trust is gone, the relationship is gone! It has no future! When you lose your respect for a prospective spouse, he/she is finished! Hence, it’s wisdom to keep the relationship pure before you say, “I do!” After all, you lose nothing if, for one reason or the other, the relationship doesn’t end up in marriage. But one will always feel cheated, and often, it’s the woman who feels cheated, if the prospective married couple engage in sex before marriage.
Remember, marriage is honourable in all. May all prospective marriages end up with God’s honour, to His glory! Amen.
